21 Days of Transformation: Day 13 – Forgiveness…

Ending a relationship should never be easy. Certainly, it never has been for me. I think, because I’ve always tried to enter into any relationship with all I have. I can’t do half-hearted relationships. For me, it’s all or nothing.

Ending my marriage of 19 years was no exception. Truth be told, it was the hardest decision I’ve ever made. Partly because we’d both invested so much into making it work, but also because our two daughters would be massively affected by the decision.

It wasn’t a snap decision, of course, but came about over a period of many months, even years, and throughout that period my thoughts changed time and time again. I’ve never wanted to hurt anyone, but I knew ending our marriage would cause pain for so many people. On the other hand, staying together wouldn’t be pain free either.

Eventually, the decision was made, and there followed a long period of upset and acrimony.

A time when hearts hardened.

A time when the happy times were forgotten.

A time when neither of us could find the good in each other.

It took many years for hearts to even start to soften.

Many years before we could hold a conversation that wasn’t bitter to the core.

Forgiveness didn’t come easy, though I tried with all my might…

But it wasn’t just others I needed to forgive…

I had to forgive myself too…

And that was the hardest part.

But hearts did soften.

Tenderness came back, and a big part of that was the wedding of my younger daughter in Mexico, when my Ex and I finally hugged and made our peace.

It was a long time coming, but we’d both had many things to deal with.

We’re both now in better relationships…

Better than the last years of our marriage, and maybe that, more than anything else, allowed forgiveness to float to the surface and tenderness to return to our hearts.

21 Days of Transformation: Day 14 - Egoless Programming...